Pieces of Me

I’ve been stressing and struggling the last few weeks on how to BE ENOUGH. Be the mother my children need and deserve, the loving and attentive wife my husband needs, and the model employee who shows up at least on time, and remaining to find something for myself at the end of the day.

Photo credit: Missie LaFrenz Photography

I slowly piecemeal out bits of myself throughout the day. I wake up at 5:30am after sleeping 4 ½ hours in between the nighttime nursies, cries for a sippy, or snuggles to chase away the bad dreams. I rush to get ready and attempt to make my girls a good breakfast to keep them healthy and growing. Then it’s out the door to daycare, fly into work and quickly log in, grab my cup of coffee and check out my latest AdWord campaigns and catch up on inventory reporting.

I work through lunch most days, eating at my desk to “make up” for the lost few minutes of me arriving to work late or needing to leave early. If I’m not working on my lunch, I run our household errands, so I can have the weekend to do whatever cleaning or family activity we have planned.

Photo credit: Missie LaFrenz Photography

Before I know it, it’s out the door off to the sitters to grab the girls and hurry home to finish supper, then its bath and bedtime where each of the girls wants just one more snuggle or kiss from Mommy. I spend the next hour talking with Luke about his work while preparing for the next morning. After he’s in bed or off watching TV, it’s finally my time. Lately it’s been either running or a HIIT exercise only to shower and collapse into bed.

While searching for the elusive answer, I’ve switched from listening to audiobooks to listening to motherhood, lifestyle, and marriage podcasts. On Sunday, one of the podcasts hit home. As moms, we constantly juggle many different balls. We have to stop and ask ourselves if our priorities are on our fragile, breakable, glass balls or on the sturdy, rubber balls that bounce if we drop them.

The same podcast reminded me that it is impossible to pour from an empty cup. That is not to say that I should go out every day or week for a manicure or massage or I should spend lots of money on a new wardrobe. But it is a good reminder that as a mom, it is ok and necessary to be selfish occasionally. To let all the little details of a birthday party go so you can enjoy the moments. To ask for help instead of trying to be SuperMom. To let your husband handle the meals for one week, even if he feeds your kids McDonalds every night. To let your older kids go to “Grammy Camp.”

So Momma – what are you juggling? Where are your priorities? Let that rubber ball drop. You have all the time in the world to do ______. You only have 18 years of your children. You are enough for them. Always.

Photo credit: Missie LaFrenz Photography

Published by raisingprincesswarriors

Just a mom writing about my journey through motherhood, postpartum depression and anxiety, while working full time. Cooking and menu planning help keep me sane.

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