“You have dug your soul out of the dark, you have fought to be here; do not go back to what buried you.” – Bianca Sparacino ⠀
Someone with anxiety doesn’t live life just thinking about the what if’s. We feel this impending sense of doom, knowing the other shoe will drop the next time they turn around. Constantly living in a state of fight or flight, imagining the worst scenario and overthinking a way out.⠀
Today I feel a lot like this butterfly – tattered, missing parts, and irreparably damaged. This weekend I was forced back into a state of anxiety – sent there by people who have mocked my insecurities. Carelessness and inconsiderate actions left me triple checking car seats at 10:30pm last night, while trying to convince myself that it’s silly of me because they were ok when I checked them an hour earlier. ⠀
Every time I tried to close my eyes to sleep, intrusive thoughts filled my vision. Nightmares filled with my endless failure to save my children taunted me in those short hours of restless sleep. ⠀
Today I’m surviving by turning to my favorite playlist and letting music drown out the overwhelm. All I need to do is take it one minute at a time. Breathe. And in the words from Anna from Frozen 2 – just do the next right thing.